A Humpday Excerpt. Keep it, Trash it or Revise it?

This is an excerpt from a contemporary erotic romance I’ve been working on today. Haven’t decided what I think of my heroine yet. Need opinions! Keep it, trash it or revise it?



I locked the main entrance of Red Light Lingerie, the sexy boutique I managed. Some sex on the beach sounded really good right now. Either the drink or the act. I wasn’t picky. Whose idea was it to have a two-for-one lingerie sale the day before Valentines anyway?

Oh yeah…my boss, Maxwell Penn. The English son of a bitch.

Most of the time, I enjoyed my job. I got paid to talk to people about ways to push the boundaries of their sexual world, the newest pleasure toys on the market, and the yummy assets every man and woman needed to compliment their bedroom wardrobe.

That and I got to wear a teddy at work. What more could a girl ask for?

“Hey, Aimee,” I called to the Latino bombshell behind the counter. The bosom of her yellow nightie strained against her DDs. How those babies had stayed in place all day was a testament to breast lift tape. “Don’t worry about inventory tonight. I’ll come in tomorrow and deal with it. Right now, I have a date to get ready for.”

“A date?” A way-to-go-girl smile tugged at the corners of her lips. “Dreamy McSexy from the coffee shop?”

“That’s the one.”


Aimee and I indulged in a java-and-gossip ritual every afternoon at the Starbucks across the street. Last week, the beanery had hired a new barista who was lust wrapped in yum. If he looked half as good naked as he did with his clothes on…

Heaven help my under-ravaged p*ssy. He wasn’t Max, but he’d do for the night.

Yes, unfortunately, I had a thing for my damned boss. I spent most of my time on the clock either wanting to strangle him or f*ck him. Sometimes both at the same time.

What did that say about my sanity?

Aimee rested her elbows on the counter. “You will let me know how the date goes, right? And by that, I mean…tell me if he’s any good in bed, if he’s hung…that sort of thing.”

I laughed. “It’ll be my first night of sex in over six months. I’ll be shouting the details to the damn moon!”

“Good.” She straightened. “And don’t forget the condoms, mi amiga! It’d be a shame if your evening comes to a crashing halt because of lack of rubber.”

“Bought some last night. They’re in my purse.”

“Good. Now go have some f*cking fun. Emphasis on the f*cking.”

Keep it, trash it or revise it?


About Brandi Evans

erotic romance writer
This entry was posted in Excerpts, Misc, writing. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to A Humpday Excerpt. Keep it, Trash it or Revise it?

  1. Mar says:

    I say keep it! I like Aimee and the Spanish words thrown in there. : )

  2. Maria D. says:

    I like it! I would keep it and see where you go with it.

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